Are You Emotionally Incompetent?

Are your emotions destroying your chance at success?
By Philip Winkelmans

It doesn’t matter how good your intentions, how knowledgeable, or how well you plan you can still fail for one simple reason… Your inability to handle your emotions.

Two different scenarios
Once I dropped in on a friend of mine, and was amazed to see the agitated, emotional frame of mind he was in. He was swearing and banging things around and hopping all over the place venting his anger. So when he calmed down a bit I questioned him as to what the problem was. He said a $2,000 pump on his earth removing equipment had broken down and it had been off of its guarantee for only one month.

I then asked him if he would like to hear what my thoughts were. With his agreement I began explaining how he had reached his level of competence and success and that he shouldn’t continue in the business he was in until he could learn to handle his emotions.

He asked, “Why?”

“Because, if you can’t handle your emotions, and you try and develop your business further you will only end up going broke, and stressing yourself out even more. You had a piece of equipment break down and you are in the equipment handling business, but somehow you have an expectation that equipment shouldn’t break down. ”You’re creating a stress factor where none should exist.”

I shared how a good friend of mine has become a multi millionaire, and whenever I’m in his presence I’m always amazed at the way he handles his business problems. For example, often I’m in the company of him and his business partners, and there will be a discussion on how the tax department is suing them for another hundred thousand or so, because of perceived faulty accounting. Or, one of the companies they are doing business with is after them for a couple of million dollars because of overruns. How do they handle it? It’s just another problem that goes with running a business. No anger or emotional outbursts, it’s just another challenge they have to deal with. Imagine, at the level he operates, how little would be accomplished if every setback put him and his partners in a huge state of emotional agitation and stress.
A short time after our conversation my equipment friend sold his business, which could have been a mistake, as instead, he could have learned how to handle his emotions. His problem was his emotional expectation that machinery should not break down. If he would learn to recognize his errant expectations then his emotional handicap would disappear.

Stress is a buzz word that generally means, “I can’t handle my emotions.” Today the ‘Stress’ word is used as an excuse to stay home from work, have a divorce, break off relationships, quit a business and so on. Face it; your success with any of the above situations, is more often directly dependent on your ability to manage your feelings and emotions than the circumstances or the situation.

If you find yourself stressing out, by being angry, anxious, fearful, or emotional in your relationships, job, or family, then you could be handicapping your chances at success in the most important areas of your life.

Tools for resolving emotional problems are found in Dr Philip Winkelmans book,The Art of Purposeful Being: Your Destiny Project, or at his Intuitive Healing Workshops at The Haven.

Phil Winkelmans is a Keynote Speaker, a Therapist and Intuitive Life Coach. To view more of his articles and other information go to or contact Phil:

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