Sexy, Alive and Loving

By Susan Clarke. Susan and CrisMarie Campbell lead Couples Alive at The Haven.

In the past month my life has been busy, alive and very engaging. Through the month I have also been doing my best to stay open and loving in my life and partnership with CrisMarie. Because we have each been doing things separately that stir up our creativity and call on us to ride waves and risk falling, our day-today living as included fighting, laughing and clinging.

As CrisMarie stepped more fully into Nina and the show was such a big success. I had both the thrill and threat of hearing just how sexy people thought she was on stage. I watched as she bought her aliveness to the part, to the team and to each show. I sat with her when she cried on closing night. I listened as she expressed her fears that she wouldn’t get another part like that. I held back my own fears of being left behind for another starring role or some sexy guy and that was simply the first two weeks of August.

I didn’t even mention my riding of the waves as I headed off to Columbus and took the lead with in a room of Presidents. Or dealt with my demons while writing pieces for my book, that may take 10 more years to write. I have already mentioned the various stages of transition I have been traveling through this summer. So no need to say more.

Indeed it has been a journey. As the show ended and we boarded a flight to Toronto for a major week of work with one of our clients, we were both wondering if we would be able to rise to the occasion.

We did. The week went quite well. Though we had been working separately as we came back together there was a grace and ease that made the week enjoyable. It’s what we love. Being co-creative and working together from our respective strengths.

We then traveled to the other side of Canada to Gabriola to lead Couples Alive II, The Edge. How perfect was that!! We had been living at that Edge for months. Though I would not have thought of it that way. As we went through the week, working with a group of couples, we drew upon our own lives to reveal humanness, realness and aliveness that comes when relationships are about both being together and being each ourselves.

Loving is a verb, it’s active and fluid. Loving at the edge is like surfing or riding waves. Sometimes our life does feel like we are on a bigger boat and the ride is quite stable. Other times I imagine us on a small racing sail boat – much faster and far less stable. And there are those times when we are on individual paddle boards – riding the waves separately while staying close and heading in the same direction. I can even imagine times when one of us is sitting stable on a boat while the other is surfing some big wave. That to me, is loving on the edge. Being willing to ride the waves – together. It isn’t always easy. I do get a touch jealous when my sexy partner is alive in her life and I am not on that same wave. Still I do enjoy watching and know it isn’t about her shutting down her sexy self. No, it is about me being willing to step out myself and trust that we can both ride the waves. Meeting and loving at our respective edges!! Sexy, Alive and Loving!!