Why Your Relationships Feel Harder Than They Should — And What You Can Do About It

Written by Gillian Enright
Program Leader, Living Alive: Meaningful Connections

We don’t talk enough about how confusing relationships can be — not just romantic ones, but every kind of relationship we’re part of.

Even when we care deeply.
Even when we’re doing our best.
Even when we’re competent, capable, and responsible.

Relationships can still feel tangled, reactive, or exhausting.

I know this personally.

I dreamed my way into my marriage at nineteen. I believed love would save me from loneliness — that the right partner would make everything okay.

Instead, my relationships became harder.

I fought more.
I pleaded more.
I tried harder.
And I lost myself.

Underneath it all was a deep longing to be loved — and an unexamined belief that someone else could fill me up.

This approach didn’t work.

At The Haven, I realized I wasn’t alone. Many of us were trying to get love by asking others to complete us, instead of learning how to stand in our own worth while staying connected.

As I learned to take responsibility for my own experience — without leaving relationship — something shifted. I spoke more honestly, listened with curiosity, and stopped asking others to manage my feelings.

Loving became less of a struggle and more of a shared process.

This is the kind of learning Living Alive: Meaningful Connections makes possible.

A Gentle Invitation

If something in this post feels familiar —
if you recognize yourself in these struggles —
you may be ready for a deeper exploration of self-responsible relational living.

Living Alive: Meaningful Connections
May 10–June 6, 2026

Living Alive: Self-Awareness
November 1–26, 2026