Reflections on 65 with Susan Clarke

June 11, 2025 by Susan Clarke, Haven Faculty

Tomorrow I turn 65.

Which means two things:

I qualify for Medicare.
I now officially get the senior movie rates

This is the first birthday that’s got me feeling a little weird about that whole “getting old” thing. It’s not the gray hair (I’ve had that since 50 and honestly, I rock it), not the AARP mailers (those start showing up when you’re, like, 42 anyway), and not even the creaky knees or stiff back.

It’s Medicare. Signing up, choosing between Supplement and Advantage plans… that stuff is stressful. Nothing makes you feel ancient like paperwork that talks about silver sneakers gym memberships and denture dental discounts.

But here’s the truth: I don’t feel old.

I actually feel pretty young—especially in heart, if not always in my tight hamstrings.
This birthday also feels different because I recently lost my mom.
She was 97 and had been living with dementia since COVID. We knew, deep down, that her body had outlasted her spirit. And while that’s a hard thing to say, it’s harder to watch. In her final weeks, she was cared for by hospice, family, and a team of extraordinary caregivers. That part gave me peace.

Losing her made me reflect—not just on her death, but on her life.
She was a professor, a mentor, a mother, a mocha-lover, and someone who defined family by love, not blood. As my sisters and I wrote her obituary, I realized how many parts of her I never fully saw until now—how many women she lifted, how much light she gave, even quietly, from the shadows.

And that, strangely, brings me back to 65.
I don’t want to fade into the background.
I don’t need to achieve more—but I do want to live more. Fully. Consciously. With all my senses awake, even if they need reading glasses or maybe a hearing aid. Because if I’m truly present in the moment… maybe forgetting won’t matter so much.

So cheers to 65. To gray hair and new insight. To knees that creak but a heart that still
dances.

And to my mom—who might’ve stood in the shadows, but taught me, my sisters and many others how to shine.

Susan Clarke DipC is co-founder of Thrive! Inc. with CrisMarie Campbell. Together they work with organizations and teams to develop trust, effective communication and strategic alignment. Susan’s journey through a life-threatening illness has given her a depth of experience and a commitment to living life full out. Associated with The Haven since 1984, she has led Come Alive for 30 years, as well as Living Alive: Self Awareness and the Couples Alive Series.

Upcoming Programs with Susan:

Come Alive
October 26 – 31, 2025

Couples Alive : Foundation
October 31 – November 4, 2025